15 minutes for 10,000 hours

I'd like to do a mini experiment. I've created a list of facts that came off the tippy top of my head. Grab a piece of paper or napkin or the back of that limited time offer from Spectrum, and a pen. This won't take long! Draw a line down the middle of your paper to divide it in half. This first round of questions is for the column that you can label 'E'. For every fact that is TRUE for you, give yourself a little tally in your 'E' Column. Are you ready? Ok, first question.

1. I set my alarm during the week to give myself just enough time to get ready for and drive to work.

2. I fuel myself with coffee.

3. I currently have a favorite TV show.

4. I rarely let my phone run out of juice and I can't stop thinking about who's trying to get in touch with me/what I'm missing if I do.

5. The top 10 people on my 'most recently called list' are the same 5 people.

6. I spend the bulk of my week at my place of employment.

7. I see my boss/coworkers more than my friends/family.

8. I look forward to bed time.

9. I avoid eye contact with acquaintances when I see them unexpectedly in public.

10. I generally stay at home and relax on the weekends.

Tally them up and circle the total number at the bottom of the list! Now, at the top of the other column, pencil in an 'L' for me. Next round of questions:

1. I am excited for the future. Tomorrow especially.

2. I always (or usually) sit down and enjoy my breakfast.

3. I have a project that I think about when I'm away from it.

4. I can't remember the last time I felt bored.

5. I like to regularly find myself a challenge to conquer.

6. I'm ok with unpredictability.

7. I spend more time staring into my children's/spouses eyes than the screen on my phone.

8. I feel as though I've grown mentally, spiritually, and/or emotionally in the past year.

9. I feel full of purpose.

10. There's at least 5 people in my life with whom I could "call in a favor".

Once again, tally up your total score and put it at the bottom of the list! Are you so curious about what 'E' and 'L' stand for? Or have you already figured me out? The first list is my "Existing" list. These are all actions that I personally feel might indicate that someone isn't truly living out their day, but simply existing within it. Which leads to the column of "Living!" Again, I feel that the above habits would suggest that you spend more time living and making the most of what this life has to offer, but more importantly, what YOU have to offer. Now, c'mon. Some of the things on the first list are a little bit...sloppy. I mean, who doesn't enjoy a cup of joe or look forward to bed every now and then? This little quiz is designed for you to determine whether there may need to be some adjustments in your existence in order to turn it into a way of living. Only you could know if you're looking forward to bed because you've run a marathon or if you just want the day to end. Feel free to adjust your score accordingly. I personally am really curious how it turned out so if you want to share in the comments, do! Otherwise, you can keep that piece of paper. But don't throw it away! Use it as a book marker or tape it to the inside of your closet door.

Most of us like structure and routine. I know I do. But it also makes going through the motions so much easier. The thoughts and concept that are the foundation of my following post were born last Monday morning while I sat on the bathroom floor watching Hunter get ready for work.

"What makes you happy?" Hunter splashed water into his hair and ran a towel through it, muffling the sound of his voice. "What did you say?" I asked, certain I hadn't heard right. He already knows what makes me happy. Him and our baby. "What," he hangs up the towel and bends down to look me more squarely in the face, "makes you happy?"

"That's a stupid question. You know that all I've ever wanted is to just get to spend as much time as possible as I can with you and our kids!" Hunter shook his head. "No, I know that's not enough for you." I was a little hurt at this response. And also kind of annoyed. He can't tell me what is and isn't enough for me. "If you could be good at anything, what would you want to be good at?" This, for me, is the same question just reworded. Sadly, I have little to no enjoyment in any activity that I don't feel at least mildly proficient at. Does that make me a poor sport? "I don't know." I said begrudgingly.

When I was a younger little girl, I supposedly walked up to my grandmother and cried, "I wish I had at least one talent." I think I've shared that memory before, but honestly it's not a memory. I don't recall ever confiding this insecurity in my Moomoo, but that thought hasn't ever really left the back of my head. When I say talent I don't mean, "That Emily, she can make a mean lasagna." I mean, "You know the math whiz, Emily? She became an architect and designed that skyline!" P.s. I hate math. (Or should I say, it hates me?) or, "Hey, remember super fast Emily from high school? She's going to the Olympics for pole vaulting!" Guys, I can't get my feet more than 24 inches off the ground, I swear. I have no hops. Hunter knows this about me - that I want to be exceptional and the very best at something, but I also know that there will ALWAYS be someone who is faster, stronger, smarter, leaner, and prettier so I'd just as soon stay in my yoga pants and watch This Is Us on Sunday evening.

"Your problem, Emily, is that you think people who are amazing at something start out that way. Or that they are born with an advantage." I would like to justify myself real quick because typing that out makes me sound a bit moronic. And since I'm the one writing this post, I get the benefit of the doubt. I KNOW that people who go to the Olympics don't come out of the womb primed and ready for them. It takes so much work and diligence! More than I can imagine! But, c'mon. There's still that edge. You hear about people like Lakey Peterson and Sasha DiGiulian who were riding waves at age 2 and climbing walls before they could walk. Maybe their mom did an iron man when she was 7 months pregnant with them and they got some sort of super powers, (I'm not making this stuff up) but my point is that while these girls were getting a head start on their "talents" I was eating dirt.

Because I don't see myself ever being truly, splendiforous at something, I don't see the point. Wow, what a shame. There goes all the color in life. "You know it takes at least 10,000 hours of doing something consistently to be considered a professional at it, right?" Hunter prodded. "Uh, yuh. I know." I become a 13 year old again when I get insecure. "So..." he continues, "what are you working on?" I just shrugged my shoulders in a defeated way. "Nothing, I guess." Hunter stands up and claps his hands together, "Ok. 15 minutes." I look at him, part annoyed part curious. "What?" I ask. "You have to write for 15 minutes every day. I don't care what you write about or when but it has to be every day for 15 minutes."

See I don't know about you guys, but the hum drum of dishes and poopy diapers and picking up pieces of Ari's chewed up soccer ball off the floor wears thin. I feel like my day doesn't matter and I'm not making a difference. If you read my last post, you'd know that this put me in a pretty bad head space. Hunter would always reassure me that being a mom is the most important job there is out there and ya know, it's true. Moms are the real MVPs. But I think what Hunter meant when he said that he and our babies weren't enough was that the deep need for fulfillment and purpose in this life wasn't being met. And I think he was dead on. You would also know, from my previous post, that part of the reason for how I found myself at such a low point was my failure to live in the way I was intended - to serve, follow, and know my Creator.

I believe that our "talents" are absolutely a way to praise our Lord, but also just for having fun! The more I think about it, the more I realize that it doesn't matter if you go bananas for a hike in the mountains or watching a stain disappear as you scrub your laundry, just finding something that you love and pursue to the Glory of the one who made you to know Him will not only give you a reason to jump out of bed excited for the day, but will also give you peace. Not in our sufficiency or skill at said activity/skill, but in the identity of a created being, designed with a purpose - to glorify God and know Him forever, even if it is through Lasagna.

So I'm committing to 15 minutes a day of writing. You may see some if it. In fact you just have. Now, take another look at your score and maybe find something that you love to do fifteen minutes a day. It may take a lifetime, but it could turn into ten thousand hours.