How to change your mind.

Just doing it. Not verbatim Nike, but Hunter and I recently decided to take Phil Knight's advice. We have big news! (No, we aren't pregnant again. At least not that I know of...) and sorry to disappoint, but I won't be sharing just exactly what that news is...yet. But I don't think any one who may need the nudge to take the next big step in their life should wait to hear the story of how we finally decided to take ours. So with out giving too much away, I want to share with you guys some of the things that tipped me off that it was the right time for us to make some changes.

Hint #1: You complain. Not just about having to pick up your husbands socks off of the floor for the 80 billionth time, but about tiny stuff that shouldn't bother you. I noticed several months ago that I couldn't be pleased. No matter what, life was full of misery. In my head, I'd be thinking, "geez, lighten up." while at the same time, I was stomping around like godzilla fuming at Hunter and our neighbors that live in the apartment below us about how impossible it is to find a decently ripe avocado at Aldis! Even I thought I was being a bit dramatic, but I'd continue to nitpick. Your life shouldn't be a compilation of your personal woes, it should be an easter egg hunt of opportunities.

Hint #2: You can't recall the last 48 hours. And you were sober. If you can't remember what happened last night and the day before because of a substance, then that's a different can of worms that I won't open. But what I'm addressing right now is the autopilot that I know all of us can switch over to on Monday morning. Have you seen the movie, Click? Personally, I'm not a huge fan of Adam Sandler, but the idea of fast forwarding your life away is pretty powerful. Although it doesn't speed up time, we can miss out on just as much of our existence if we aren't attentive and alert to our surroundings. I realized that when my Moomoo would call me for a chat on the phone, or I'd go on a walk with my sister who I hadn't seen in a couple of weeks, that the question "so what have you been up to lately?" would truly stump me. I don't want my memories to be difficult to recall. I want to enjoy savoring them as I lay my head down to sleep at night. Don't you?

Hint #3: You can't celebrate other's achievements. Ah, the green elephant in the room. Am I mixing sayings? If you feel sick watching someone else accomplish or succeed in something, then there's a problem. I have a vivid memory of walking around my middle school art class, peering over my class mate's shoulders at their watercolored orchids. I couldn't get the paint to do what I wanted - I'm much more of an acrylic/oils gal. Every time I would make a stroke, the paint would just run all over the place and make a mess. Instead of figuring out and working on the technique though, I decided to investigate and compare other's paintings to my own in hopes that I wasn't the only one with this problem. I wasn't, but there were plenty of other people in my art class who's pieces were far better than mine. I still hate orchids to this day. Using another's success as a measuring tool for how you're doing in life is just a bad idea. There are so many reasons for this. I could write a whole blog post on it. Just. Don't do it, ok?

Hint #4: You rely on your significant other for entertainment/motivation. The weight of someone's whole identity, purpose, and fulfillment is too much for another human to carry. Again, another post for another day. But so is inspiration and vivacity! A lot of the time, couples are opposites. You know, the meek wallflower pairs nicely with the life of the party. The one with their head in the clouds is anchored by their practical protégé. But, if the wallflower doesn't go on her daily walk unless her man accompanies her/reminds her, or the dreamer won't work on his novel unless his intellectual lady makes him a cup of a coffee and tells him, "hey, time to write!" then it's time to check the fuel tank. By that I mean, what drives you? What gases you up? I know I'm still alluding here, but do you get what I'm saying? If you aren't excited about what you're working on/living out unless your "reminded" to be, then man you're seriously confused about what excited means. I've mentioned this before in a former blog, but finding a skill/hobby/THING that you do just for the joy of it is really important. You can reference my blogs, "The Miracle of Working Through It" and "15 Minutes for 10,000 Hours" if you'd like that fleshed out more.

This all circles back to one thing though - and that's changing your mind.

One of my least favorite feelings, right up there next to feeling misunderstood, is feeling stuck. It's awful. No matter what the circumstances are or which end of the spectrum you feel them, being hemmed in can make a person frustrated at best, and panicked or insane at worst. Whether you're stuck in a job, stuck in an illness, stuck in a relationship, or stuck in a bad habit, we've been told that the most powerful tool is our minds. The thing that controls whether you believe, "yes, I can." or "no, I can't." It's the pivotal point around which all of the motivational speaker's pep talks orbit. Take control of your mind, they say, and you'll take control of your life!

I made a big mistake taking this advice in it's raw form. I fed my head the good stuff for awhile that was supposed to fuel my positive thoughts. Motivational podcasts, inspiring books, comforting conversations, so many up beat pep talks, all contributed to building up my hope of finding success in what, I hoped, would be my victory in...life! I was going to rule the way I lived through the monarchy of a happy headspace.

Woe to the one who does this with nothing but sheer will power. The high and positivity you feel through amping your mood up on your own is just as artificial as the boost of energy you get from chasing a packet of skittles with a Dr. Pepper. You'll feel like running sprint intervals for ten minutes then crash into a headache and lethargy with out a chance to switch off the treadmill.

I realized this today when I was reminded of the brevity of my life. I don't have control over whether or not I wake up to see tomorrow. All I've got is the moment I'm in right now. Knowing that, all I can do is choose to make the most of where and who I am TODAY. Does that sound depressing or pessimistic? It shouldn't. In fact, it should be a relief. Because of my security in a providential God, I don't need to worry about what tomorrow will bring. I definitely need to take control of the way my head works and thinks, but shifting the thoughts from, "Yes, I can!" to, "Yes, He can." is the first step toward that peace.

In regards to this new next thing for my family and I, we didn't wake up one morning and think, "well dang, it's time for a change." But we did reach a breaking point, so to speak, of when we looked at one another and said, "that's it. No more nonsense." and jumped in to what we feel is the next big step for our lives with both feet. My advice, or at least what I've found to be true for Hunter and I through our experience, is not to wait for life to happen to or for you, but to take steps forward in faith, while all the while feeding yourself the truth that offers peace surpassing understanding. Because we can't understand what or when or how things in our future will come together, or if one even exists, but we can have peace that it is taken care. Don't be afraid to make a big change.

Just do it.