Stop making your Meat Suit so personal.

This past Sunday, Hunter and I went to my in-laws to watch the Superbowl and eat some really amazing thai-shrimp fritters. I'm not a football fan and didn't even know which teams were playing until the night before, so paying attention to anything other than the commercial breaks was tough for me. But then the camera paused for one moment on an enormous football player watching the game from the sidelines. His face was pouring with sweat, his body showing every sign of having just been worked to its max, with the exception of one: his breath. He was hardly breathing! He wasn't panting, or heaving, or doubled over, or even inhaling through his mouth! It was as if he was laying on the couch watching the game from his TV at home. I was in awe, thinking about the amount of training and hard work it must have taken to get to that level of physical efficiency. I realized after thinking about the amount of time and dedication this man and the rest of his team mates must have put in, in order to be this strong and fast, would require a strange balance of being completely and 1000% in touch with their body and yet, simultaneously, unattached. There was a necessity for them to have a mind over matter approach to their brutal training. You couldn't let the way you physically felt effect how hard you worked, but at the same time, you had to be able to tap into your body's physical potential by paying close attention to it.

The next day, I took advantage of the premature springtime that Asheville has suddenly found itself in, and went for a walk with my baby. I had downloaded an episode from my new favorite Podcast, MindBodyGreen with Jacob Wachob, and selected an interview with a woman who I had never heard of before, but who was apparently a long time Yogi and large influence in the world of health and wellness. Her name was Kathryn Budig.

She delved into a lot of different topics that were both interesting and entertaining, but I won't go into detail about them here because they are not relevant to this post. There were, however, some points that she made that allowed me to connect the dots between my moment of awe while watching the Super Bowl and my time walking the sidewalks of Biltmore Park. At one point during the interview, Kathryn referred to her body as a Meat Suit. I initially recoiled at the metaphor because it just sounded gross and also made me think about a book that my dad required I read before my solo trip overseas titled, "The Gift of Fear" in which a description of a psychopath who used to make jackets for himself out of women's skin was included. But then I started to think, "Huh. Cool."

Once again, I think the new movement for acceptance and in this case specifically, body love, has tapped on something very relevant and important, but not quite hit the nail on the head. We are told that we should love our bodies, and rock our bodies, and be proud of our bodies. Small, big, tall, short, black, white, purple, green, whatever kind of body you have, accept it all and embrace it in totality! But what if our bodies were as temporary as the clothing that we choose? What if we could actually change out of our Meat Suits and try on others? Would we still be as proud or embarrassed of them as we are in the ones we are born in? And that's another interesting point. We define ourselves by our physical form, but we have less of a say in our stature than we do in our wardrobe! I mean sure, you can work out and eat super well, and color your hair, and get all sorts of plastic surgery, but there's only so much you can sand down and sculpt yourself. Your frame remains the same and your you will forever be you. You are born into your skin and will remain in it until you die.

So why do we take credit for these skin suits that we are, quite frankly, dealt?

We claim the pride or shame associated with our physicality but have no involvement in its acquisition, we simply are its resident. In the moment captured at the Super Bowl of the Football player staring cooly onto the field, it seemed as though his soul was separate from his body. It was as if I could see a being staring out from his "Meat Suit" like a birdwatcher peering through binoculars, or a child looking out one of those stand up wooden head cut outs that you see all the time at carnivals. It was present, but also independent. It was as if he had mastered the ability to take ownership of his body, using it to the extent that he wished rather than perceiving it as an imprisonment or cage. His body served him, and in return he treated it well.

I think that it is often the other way around. We serve our bodies and in response, they react poorly. I don't think its the fault of our physical forms that this is the way things are. We usually mistake the messages that they try to send us. Nutrient deficiencies or thirst indicate a need for something that is a far stretch from cupcakes and overeating. However, we see ourselves entirely wrapped up in our physicality and forget that there is a distinction between our flesh and our beings so we miss the opportunity to use our hands, feet, arms, legs, and heads the way they were intended: in service of ourselves.

In many ways, our relationships with our meat suits could be compared to those of our partners. A healthy relationship with your significant other does not allow for your entire identity and purpose to be wound up in them. The weight of someone's sun, moon, and stars is too much for any person too handle! Including yourself!

Realizing this not so new concept has really shifted my perspective. In a lot of ways I've begun to perceive my own skin similarly to the way I perceive my son, Judah. I know you don't like veggies, but they're good for you!

(Actually, I LOVE veg, but for the sake of making a point....) You might not be sleepy, but it's bed time! You need to go outside and play. No, you may NOT watch that scary movie. If you eat another cookie you'll be sick!

Consequentially, I don't expect as much from my body in physical appearance, but I expect more of it when my mind requires it to perform. There is more grace where there once was none, and less laxity where structure and discipline was needed.

I may be sharing a personal realization that is old news for many of you, but I hope that the message was clear for those who needed to hear it. You don't need to be ashamed of your body/face, but you also have no reason to be proud of/find your identity within it either. You were born into your skin which was a gift from the beginning, and it is a gift that can only be received once. So take care of your Meat Suit and stop wishing you could change out of it!